My Life as an Advice Column

Dear France,

I have applied to study at a fantastic university, but you're not giving up the letter of acceptance yet. What gives?

Sincerely,
Frustrated in North Dakota.


Dear Frustrated,

Your letter is being considered. Please accept our sincerest apologies as our diplomacy or advice industry isn't nearly as efficient or madly rushed as your American diplomacy or advice industry. We are not, you see, Dear Ann Landers. We are Dear France. We'll answer your question as soon as we can. In the meantime, please keep your eyes peeled for your acceptance letter. It's somewhere over the Atlantic. Or under it. Either way, we promise it's not going to do a whole lot of good to worry about it. 

Sincerely yours,
France.